INT. HARBOR SCHOOL - CLASSROOM - DAY (D1)

The instructor, MR. BENDIS, addresses his Western Civilization students, including RYAN and MARISSA (seated a few seats apart). Marissa writes Ryan a NOTE.

MR. BENDIS: Your class presentations will account for one-third of your final grade, along with your term paper and, of course, the final exam.

Marissa folds the note in half, writes Ryan's name on it, and stealthily passes it to the student next to her - who passes it to the student next to him - LUKE.

MR. BENDIS: (CONT'D) I'll be dividing the class into two-person teams. Each team will be responsible for presenting a detailed account of a pivotal event or period in European history.

Ryan watches as Luke looks at the note, debating whether or not to read it, pass it on, or give it to Mr. Bendis.

Marissa notices Luke's hesitation. Gives him a weak smile. Luke looks attentively at Mr. Bendis --then surprises Ryan and Marissa by slipping the note to Ryan - unread.

MR. BENDIS: (CONT'D) I've already had quite a few partnership requests -

Ryan reads Marissa's note: WE COULD DO THE CRUSADES . . .?

MR. BENDIS: (CONT'D) - however, in fairness to the other sudents, I've decided to put the teams together at random.

Marissa and Ryan share disappointed looks.

MR. BENDIS: (CONT'D) (consulting his LIST) Lauren and Kenny: the French Revolution. Ryan and Luke: the Spanish Inquisition. Stephanie and Bobby: the Protestant Reformation. . . .

---

SETH: No, I meant, for me. (a beat, nods) So. You guys good? Getting along?

Anna smiles mischievously, an idea forming. . . .

ANNA: Yeah. We are. In fact - Summer and I were just headed to the library. To do some research.

SUMMER: We were?

Anna looks at her: go with it. Summer clues in.

SUMMER (CONT'D): Yes, the library. For . . . books. And then we thought we'd go shopping, right? South Coast Plaza?

ANNA: Sounds good.

Summer nods happily. The girls head off together, enjoying their revenge, leaving a rattled Seth in their wake.

SETH: This does not sound good at all.

EXT. BEACH - SANTA'S LIFEGUARD TOWER - DAY (D1)

Kirsten arrives to find several Newpsies (including JOAN, SUSAN, and LYNN) decorating a LIFEGUARD TOWER in preparation for the kids to meet Santa. A papier mache CHIMNEY sits on top of the tower, PLASTIC REINDEER posed in the sand, etc.

KIRSTEN: Happy holidays, ladies.

LYNN: Kirsten! You made it! How are you feeling? Julie told us you were "under the weather" at Thanksgiving.

KIRSTEN: She did?

JOAN: The holidays can be so stressful.

SUSAN: I could go for a little hair of the dog myself, right about now.

At which point, JULIE COOPER leads a portly, sweaty SANTA CLAUS (in the SUIT, but wearing RED BOARD SHORTS) to the tower.

JULIE: So, the kids will line up along here to meet you. And then you'll sit here. On Santa's throne.

Julie indicates the WOODEN THRONE in front of the tower.

SANTA CLAUS: You want me to sit here? In direct sunlight? I don't even get a tent? Or an awning? You're kidding, right?

JULIE: Santa. Sit.

Santa sits as Kirsten approaches.

KIRSTEN: Hey, Julie.

JULIE: ("happy" to see her) Kirsten. You showed up.

KIRSTEN: Can I talk to you for a sec?

SANTA CLAUS: Forget it. I'm not doing this. There's not enough SPF in the world for this kind of Christmas. I never should've left Connecticut.

JULIE: Santa, sit down and shut up.

KIRSTEN: Did you tell everyone I was drunk at Thanksgiving?

JULIE: No. I just - everyone was wondering where you were. . . .

KIRSTEN: I was at the office. Working.

JULIE: Okay. We're all friends here.

KIRSTEN: Is that true? Then it's time you started acting like one. (then) And let's get Santa some shade, shall we?

As Kirsten crosses off - and Julie's smile fades. . . .

PRE-LAP. A DOORBELL RINGS.

INT. LUKE'S HOUSE - DAY (D1)

The front door opens to reveal a nervous Ryan facing MEREDITH WARD (40's), Luke's warm, disarmingly down-to-earth mom.

RYAN: Hi. I'm -

MEREDITH: Ryan. How are you? Luke called. He'll be here any minute. Come in.

Ryan enters to find the house is beautiful, tasteful, nothing to suggest it's a breeding ground for Aryan monsters, until -

Luke's brawling, towheaded brothers ERIC (11) and BRAD (9) race in, POUNDING each other over a BATMAN ACTION FIGURE.

ERIC: Give it! It's mine! (etc.)

BRAD: Liar! Get off me! (etc.)

MEREDITH: (blithely) Guys, this is Luke's friend, Ryan. Ryan, this is Eric and Brad.

A beach where they smile. And then Eric grabs BATMAN out of Brian's hand.

BRAD: Give it! Mom!

MEREDITH: (blithely) Who wants a snack? Ryan?

The Towheads push Ryan out of the way to get to the snacks, PUNCHING the living hell out of each other.

ERIC / BRAD: Me! / No, me! (etc.)

Their clamor is interrupted by the arrival of FRANK WARD (40's) - handsome, athletic, and every inch Luke's dad.

FRANK: Hey, guys.

The Towheads rush him at the door. Frank picks them both up in his arms. The boys scream, laughing.

ERIC / BRAD: Dad! / You're home! (etc.)

FRANK: Just dropping off your mom's car. (handing her the KEYS) One of the belts was misaligned. I had them change the oil, too.

MEREDITH: (kissing him) Frank, this is Luke's friend, Ryan. They're doing a school project together. . . .

Frank smiles, extends his hand. Ryan shakes it.

FRANK: What about?

RYAN: Western Civ. Spanish Inquisition.

FRANK: Not one of Western Civilization's proudest moments.

Frank puts the Towheads down so they can resume fighting.

FRANK: (CONT'D) I was a history major at USC. (self-deprecating) And? Now I sell cars for a living.

MEREDITH: Don't listen to him, Ryan. He owns three Lexus dealerships.

At which point, Luke enters. His guard up around Ryan.

LUKE: God, Mom. Brag much?

FRANK: She was being proud of me.

LUKE: (to Ryan) C'mon. Let's just do this.

FRANK: (to Ryan, re: Luke) Don't let him slack off. (to Luke) Hey. SC - Notre Dame this Saturday. I figured we'd drive up around noon. Tailgate.

LUKE: Cool.

FRANK: I don't know if you're a Trojan man Ryan - but it's gonna be a good game.

Ryan nods. Thanks. Luke gives a look - that'll never happen. . . .

INT. LUKE'S HOUSE - LUKE'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER (D1)

Ryan follows Luke into his bedroom, looks around: SURFING GEAR, SPORTS TROPHIES, CAR and RACING MEMORABILIA. And - to Ryan's surprise - an ACOUSTIC GUITAR, and SHEET MUSIC: Dave Matthews, John Mayer, James Taylor. . . .

Thanks to Bliss and Fraz at the Fanbolt.com Forum!